1. It’s definitely not boring
It’s a common misconception that snooker is dull. This is only the case if you assume that ‘slow’ and ‘dull’ are the same thing. Snooker is undoubtedly slow, but those who disregard slow activities as boring are the sorts of people who have never read a book or tried to learn anything, have never walked anywhere and have forgotten how to communicate without the assistance of a screen.
Once understood, snooker is one of the most exciting games around. The UK Championship is, without doubt, the perfect time to change the perceptions you might have about one of Britain’s most underrated sports.
2. The pure, unadulterated skill
All sports are effectively about celebrating some form of physical prowess, whether it’s strength, agility, stamina or speed (or a combination of all four), but no sport – aside from possibly golf – values pure and unadulterated skill as much as snooker.
Anyone who has ever tried to knock a 52.5 mm coloured ball with a similarly sized cue ball, into a pocket at the side or corner of a table that is almost 12 ft by 6 ft big can appreciate what a profoundly difficult task it is. To do so with any sense of strategy, let alone flair or panache, is completely remarkable.
This is what is so endlessly compelling about snooker. There are many footballers, for example, who possess phenomenal skill, but there are far more who possess none whatsoever and yet are still effective at the top level (take a bow, Neil Ruddock). This can never be the case in snooker. Every player competing at the UK Championships possesses a level of skill that those outside the game could not even comprehend. As with anything, once one understands how incredibly difficult this skill is to master, watching someone repeatedly and effortlessly achieve it becomes a joy.
3. Ronnie O’Sullivan is still the GOAT
Every once in a while, someone will explode onto the scene of a particular sport and somehow combine mind-blowing ability with charisma and personality. I am talking of the Muhammad Alis and the Usain Bolts, sportsmen who not only excel beyond all physical boundaries, but who seem completely unable – or unwilling – to leave their personalities in the changing room. These are always the best sportsmen to watch and Ronnie O’Sullivan exists among the elite, gliding around a snooker table, taunting his opponent with one-handed trick shots.
On his day, it is almost accepted wisdom that Ronnie O’Sullivan is the best snooker player there has ever been. Those who favour a more tactical and consistent approach may point towards Stephen Hendry or Steve Davis, but neither could have matched O’Sullivan at his absolute prime.
It is, however, Ronnie’s lack of consistency – indeed, his outright contempt for it – that makes him so fascinating. His apparent refusal to reach his full potential can often be frustrating, but this kind of consistency in snooker requires a level-headedness that O’Sullivan simply is not capable of. He is like Jimi Hendrix in a tuxedo – performing acts of such dazzling, stupefying brilliance in the same frame as the most basic mistakes against weak opposition. His personal battles are well-documented – as is his unrefined, unapologetically rough around the edges character – but when Ronnie’s in full swing, he is still unplayable. Let’s just hope the right Ronnie shows up this year (assuming he actually plays).
4. The poetry of Chas ‘n’ Dave
The attempt to write a song that represents an entire sport is one that is usually doomed to miserable failure. Football, of course, has a few anthems from back in the day, but aside from ‘Three Lions,’ ‘World in Motion’ and – at an absolute push – Fat Les’ ‘Vindaloo,’ almost every other tune has been appalling – and most sports, frankly, don’t even bother.
There is, however, one glaring exception to this rule. In 1986, two raucous cockneys assaulted the UK charts with a song about the game they loved. I am talking about Chas ‘n’ Dave’s smash hit ‘Snooker Loopy.’ It’s the perfect sports song; catchy and funny with an up-tempo beat, the song also features a number of cameos from snooker’s stars of the era, such as Steve Davis and Dennis Taylor.
However, the song also works as a perfect guide to snooker’s rules for the uninitiated. “Pot the reds, then pull back for the yeller, green, brahn, blue, pink and black” is undoubtedly the pithiest summary of what is an incredibly complex game. All these years on, the song still sounds as relevant and daring as it did then.
5. Dennis Taylor and John Virgo’s heavenly commentary
It is a truth universally acknowledged that commentators in slower sports, like snooker and cricket, are infinitely more entertaining than their more energetic counterparts
Dennis Taylor and John Virgo are the epitome of ’slow commentary.’ Their dry, self-deprecating wit, understated excitement and outright hostility towards any attempt to introduce modernity into the game are a joy to listen to in comparison with the inane, brainless dirge we are subjected to during ITV’s football coverage. Virgo and Taylor do not talk for the sake of talking, and they are not afraid to let a few minutes of silence go by for viewers to make their own reflections on the game.
In a world where British sports coverage increasingly resembles the hysterical whooping and crass ‘entertainment’ of American wrestling, Dennis Taylor and Clive Tyldesley’s unapologetically languid approach is both a remnant of a forgotten era and a breath of fresh air. When watching sport, it’s nice to be treated like an adult occasionally, rather than a hyperactive child. Sky Sports: take note.
Connor Pierce
Filed under: Sport
