With the European Championships too far away to get excited about, the international break acts as little more than an interruption to the usual excitement we are treated to in the Premier League week in, week out.
The nation is also still very much in the throes of its ‘post-major international tournament hangover’ – that all too familiar period of bitterness and universal self-loathing English football fans endure following each limp exit from a major international tournament. It usually lasts about 18 months, by which time the excitement of the next tournament stirs up the nation’s delusions all over again.
During this period, the shame we all feel for our country’s relentless underachievement at every World or European Cup is manifested even by the most patriotic and optimistic of England fans in total apathy towards the fortunes of the national side. This is the time when England shirts are going for £10 in Sports Direct, when just four months before they were flying out of the shop for 50 quid. But no one wants to buy them, because we’re all still so totally ashamed of being English that we won’t even admit it to our own countrymen.
In short, the memories of England’s pathetic performances in the World Cup are just too fresh in our minds for anybody to care about two games against the whipping boys of Europe, San Marino, and former-Soviet stag spot, Estonia.
I mean, is there really any point in analysing these two games? Games against San Marino are so totally pointless and impossible to enjoy that even watching them seems more like a chore than entertainment.
Jack Wilshere was rightly named as man of the match, Kieran Gibbs also had a good game and Andros Townsend looked bright coming off the bench, scoring another goal from distance. Wayne Rooney should have converted more of the chances that fell at his feet, while Calum Chambers made a few too many comedic errors to really consider him a prospect just yet.
Scoring fewer than six goals against the joint-worst team in the world should be considered a failure, but the fact England had a perfectly sound goal disallowed means we can probably allow them a pass on this front.
The Estonia game was equally unsatisfying. For games like this, that same cliché is always rolled out in every single media outlet in the world: England weren’t pretty, but they did the job. The media shouldn’t be blamed for this lack of imagination in analysing games like this – it’s just that there is literally nothing else to say. The opposition is too weak to be considered a true test, and the England side just aren’t fired up enough to put a full shift in. It’s a totally unpleasant, boring experience for the spectator, which most frankly don’t bother with.
Still, no one can really complain about being top of the group. The games themselves had their moments – there were a couple of decent goals in the San Marino game, Rooney’s free kick was well taken against Estonia (though in general, he should have done much better), and Wilshere showed more glimpses that this season could be the one in which he finally fulfils the hype that’s been surrounding him since he was about 14 – but ultimately, these really were painfully dull matches.
If you had any sense at all, you would’ve watched the darts instead. Or, you would have gone outside and done something else.
Connor Pierce
Filed under: Sport
